KOTLC Reacts!
by IStillHopeForSophex
Summary: Or are they? Well, yes, they are. But there is more than meets the eye... is there? I'm trying to sound mysterious here. It's good! I think... Yes, the cover is Alex Hirsch's wizard cat secretary. I like wizard cats and they have almost nothing to do with this story. Sophex is the best. That sentence also had nothing to do with the story sadly. Why am I still typing this?
1. Chapter 1

Hello everybody!

GT: Hi Dr. Nick!

Me: (shocked) You... watch the simpsons? And you actually got my reference?

GT: Yes! Hold up. Do you ship-

Me: Lisiggum for life.

GT: Yes! I can't believe someone else ships that!

Me: I'm a sucker for the underdog.

GT: Hold on, what's the greatest episode of all time?

Both say at once: E. Pluribus Wiggum!

GT: You know, I'm actually starting to like you.

Me: Same! I'm still making you be in the gameshow though.

GT: It was worth a try.

So, this is my third fic!

To be honest, I wouldn't even be writing this if it wasn't for the support of my amazing fans! Your support has motivated me so much and it means a lot to me. It and the endless amount of feel-good music I've been playing nonstop since I finished Legacy has been the only thing supporting my will to write and not go insane and act on Operation Mallowmelt (A classified project of the PFIA). Or maybe I will...

First person to decrypt the code on my profile page(it's the Caesar cipher, a=d), gets a prize. A good prize!

I am now on the Keeper Wiki! It's a very receptive and just overall awesome community(Almost as good as this one, and this community is so supportive I might die of compliments). My name is AwesomeTheorist!

* * *

Me: It's time to finally canonically insert myself into my fanfiction! I've waited so long for this. (pushes button that's labeled "Canonize")

(Author disappears in flash of bright light)

GT: He's.. gone! He's finally gone! I'm free! (tries to run out door)

GT: (realizes) Oh... I'm trapped here. Forgot about that.

* * *

Me: Hello!

Sophie:(tiredly) Let me guess... you want us to react to something.

Dex: A movie.

Jensi: A tv show.

Marella: Vehicles.

Wylie: Books.

Biana: Human things.

Fitz: Our books.

Keefe: Or you'll just torture us.

Sophie: Just do it already.

Me: Guys! Don't you realize who I am? (pulls off hood)

Dex:(gasps) It's a fanboy! We haven't had one of those in years!

Me: Yes! But that isn't important. I'm a relatively new author! Which means I have the slight chance of making you do something original!

Jensi: That's a welcome change.

Me: And, because I'm nice, I'll let you be the torturers for once instead of the tortured!

Tam:(With a slightly psychotic look) YEEESSSS! I WILL DRIVE THEM INSANE WITH SHADOWVAPOR AND MY COLOGNE!

Fitz: That stuff is pretty rank.

Marella: They'll be eating flames for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the occasional midnight snack!

Me: Midnight snack?

Marella: What?

Tam: Yeah, what?

Sophie: I don't know, this seems wrong- (remembers the endless amounts of times she was forced to explain things) Never mind, let's do this thing.

Keefe: I'll make them look ridiculous!

Biana: MAKEOVERS ARE MY DEPARTMENT BACK OFF OR YOU DIE. NOW.

Keefe: (whimpering) Yes, ma'am.

Jensi: I'll punch them! And... kick them! I wish I would've manifested already.

Dex: I'll give them a brutal case of constipation! And turn them into a cyborg.

Sophie: I sometimes envy your powers.

Dex: Really, says the girl with multiple abilities.

Sophie: (shaking him) YOU DON'T KNOW THE PAIN.

Dex: (runs away) Keefe, let's get out of here ASAP. The girls are going crazy.

Keefe: Agreed.

Linh: I'll give them a warm welcome!

(Everyone stares at her)

Linh: Fine, I'll give them a hug as well.

Me: You really don't get the point of this, do you?

Linh: Nope!

Wylie: I'll blind them!

Me: And I'll watch.

Me: Teen Titans Go!

Wylie: What?

Me: Never mind. Let's do this! (teleports in GT)

GT: Whaa? AAAHHHH!

Marella: (attacks him with fire) Fire! Fire! And more fire!

Jensi(kicks GT in the stomach) Hitting this guy is fun!

Tam: EAT COLOGNE UGLY PERSON!

GT: AAAAAAAAAGHH! THAT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING IN THE WORLD! IT SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING GAVE BIRTH AND DIED IN YOUR ARMPIT!

Sophie: He isn't that ugly.

Me: NO DON'T SAY THAT!

Linh: He's sorta hot.

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE HIM!

Biana: And you can tell us who we can have a crush on?

Dex: Don't try it! They'll kill you.

Fitz: I have six scars from Sophie from our argument!

Keefe: When I told Linh that Wylie wasn't her type she almost mauled me!

Wylie: Then she threw me off a cliff!

Me: Don't worry, I called for backup.

(Teleports the Agents of K. A. B. A. F. S.[keep all boys away from sophie, it's a story I will write at some point, vote for it in my poll once it goes back up! or pm me] in)

Me: Cameo Time!

Grady: Looks like we've got a code Hot Tamale. Move out!

(Sandor and Bo grab GT and throw in in a bag)

GT: Hey! I was just about to kiss Sophie!

Fitz: Well, it was nice knowing you.

Grady: KISS? You're going in maximum security! Take him away boys!

(They travel back through the portal)

Me: Ah, shameless plugs. Don't you love them?

Fitz: Not really.

Me: YOU DON'T MATTER!

Dex: So true.

Keefe: Tell it like it is!

Biana: He speaks the truth. My brother has no life.

Sophie: Yeah! You do not deserve to matter after how you treated me!

Keefe: What do you mean?

Fitz: Oh no. (starts running)

(Sophie tells the others)

Dex: HE DID WHAT?

Biana: KILL HIM!

Me: (inconspicuously teleports in GT in the driver's seat of a red convertible)

GT: What happened? I was just in-

Biana: HE'S HELPING HIM! KILL HIM AS WELL!

Fitz:(jumps in passenger seat) Quickly, get us out of here or we're both going to die!

GT: But I've only driven go-karts!

Fitz: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE OR NOT?

GT: Here goes nothing(stomps on gas pedal)

(The car zooms away)

Biana: AFTER THEM!

* * *

GT: I can't believe we escaped! Or that we haven't crashed yet!

Fitz: Linh bit me on my arm. I may have to get a rabies shot.

GT: Seriously, I don't know how to drive! How are we still alive?

Fitz: Wait a second, do you hear that?

GT: Yeah it sounds like... (both realize at the same time)

Both of them: Montage music!

Fitz: We somehow haven't crashed, we're on a road trip, GT, I think we're in a-

GT and Fitz:A buddy comedy movie! NOOOOOO!

GT: Actually, we're not. We need a funny person, right?

Fitz: You're right. That's a-

Me: (Pops up from backseat) Comic relief! Which is what I'm here for.

GT and Fitz: AAAAHHHHHHHH!

Me: Wasn't that punny?

Fitz: Isn't punny a word?

(They all look at each other)

All: AAAAAAAHHHHH!

Me: Muffins!

GT and Fitz: (stops screaming) What?

Me: Muffins! I have to have you react to something.

Fitz: Wow, these are really good.

GT: Yeah.

Fitz: Wait, who's driving?

Jensi: That'd be me.

Fitz: You know what, I'm not even surprised. It does explain how we haven't crashed.

Me: He's been driving the entire time, you and GT just have terrible observation skills.

Fitz: Jensi knows how to drive?

Jensi: What's driving? I've just been pushing this pedal down.

GT: Okay, maybe I should actually take the wheel.

Fitz: So what now? Knowing Biana, she probably won't stop hunting us down until we're dead. Same with the others.

Me: Well, there might be one thing that can save us. There is a magical object, known as a MacGuffin, that if eaten, can erase any event in time to make it like it never happened. Its location is a highly guarded secret, and we'll probably have to go on a big adventure to get it.

Fitz: (sighs) Well, there's no way you guys would actually help me after what I did. I'll just accept my fate.

GT: That's where you're wrong. I'm a freaking Soforkle shipper. We're pretty much even.

Jensi: I've learned to trust my gut, and my gut told me not to get too close to Sophie. And that decision saved me potential years of extreme pain. So I'm going with my gut and sticking with you.

Me: I like muffins!

Fitz: (tears up) Really? You guys are the best. (Pulls everyone into a hug)

GT: Mrphhhhhhhh(Please stop hugging me... actually this isn't that bad. I needed this)

Jensi: Mrphhhhhhhh(I need to stomp the pedal-thingy or we'll crash!)

Me: Mrphhhhhhhh(MUFFINS!)

* * *

So in a flash of brilliance I've combined GT's adventure( I'm too lazy to type out the name) with KOTLC reacts! It's gonna be good. The gameshow on intro adventures happens before this story, just so you don't get confused.

Super sorry about missing my deadline, I needed to sleep. I will try to get the next chapters of this and wanderling out ASAP. I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THE CODE! DECRYPT IT OR JUST COMMENT! COMMENTING IS GOOD! I REALLY NEED TO GET MY CAPS LOCK FIXED!


	2. Chapter 2

Yay! I updated!

Seriously though, I publish the next chapter of wanderling and almost immediately several stories are updated, then resulting in the longest period I've ever seen of people not updating. Gotta fight to keep my stories from going to page 2!

I have some big, and funny plans for this story. Now on a random note, comments!

**ArrowOfTheMoonlark: Hmmm... (A scale suddenly appears) **

**Well, there is the fact that now I have someone stalking me online... (A heavy weight appears on one side of the scale)**

**But that means I get more comments! (A million ton weight appears at the other end, catapulting the other weight into oblivion. The scale explodes for no reason.)**

**I'm glad you liked it! GT is extremely scared to be sent to you. Or did that already happen? I really should stop messing with the timeline. BUT IT'S SO FUN! **

**MidnightBunnyy: Exactly! Someone is finally starting to understand the freudian humor I carefully insert into my stories. Fun Fact: After some searching when I was bored, there are actually a good amount of fanboys put there, they just appear few and far between, like inflictors. I know, but the caps lock IS STARTING TO GROW ON ME.**

**Mythicalis4real: A drive-thru! I might do that. They ate banana bread muffins. Ummm... Yes! You were the one who suggested GTina. He's already been shipped with. Read the intro for chapter 9 for some fluff. This was in the poll, but Sandor, Grady, Bo, and probably some others I haven't thought of.**

**Cary Swirls: THANK YOU! ONLY ONE PERSON VOTED FOR IT IN THE POLL WHEN IT WAS UP! (I'll count that as a vote). I will definitely write agents of K. A. B. A. F. S. soon, but I already have this story, my fluff(sokeefe is winning), and wanderling. I'm seriously considering becoming a comedian. **

**A very obsessed fangirl: Thank you for decrypting it!(albeit quite late) The pfia part was supposed to be a url but the website blocked it. you can go to it at**

**bit . l y / 3c8eyIa (remove the spaces).**

I will be gone for the next five days so I won't be able to give out updates. It would be really nice if I could come back to a lot of comments, SO COMMENT!

Now, on with the story!

* * *

**At the B. B. B. B. B. B. B. evil lair:**

(We see a banner that looks like this:

**Bruising **

**and**

**Beating**

**Bad**

**Brothers**

**Brutally **

**also**

**Biana **

**is **

**the **

**Best**

We also see Dex, Sophie, Keefe, Tam, Linh, Wylie, and Marella sitting on either sides of a long table. Underneath them, is a glass barrier revealing a giant pit with the gorgodon in it, labeled "Throw Brothers/Enemies in here". They look quite nervous. We see at the end of the table there is a large red intimidating swivel throne. It turns around to reveal. Linh, who is stroking an Iggy with an eye patch in her lap. So just your typical james bond villain scene.)

Dex, Sophie, Keefe, Tam, Biana, Wylie, and Marella: (Quickly) Hail Fitz-Bashing!

Linh: This meeting is called to order. Now, first of all: Thank you Biana for supplying us this lair.

Biana: It was really nothing.

Linh: Second of all: YOU FOOLS! YOU IGNORANT FOOLS!

Others:(shrink back into their seats)

Linh: YOU LET THEM GET AWAY! REVENGE MUST BE TAKEN!

Keefe: That author guy, his weird pet wombat, and Jensi helped him get away! We need to get them as well!

Dex: Guys, it isn't justifiable to murder someone for this! Or kidnap Iggy from Sophie just because you needed him "For Effect!" You said the Neverseen kidnapped him!

Sophie: (sniffling) I thought he was dead!

Dex:(puts arm around Sophie)

Sophie: (Smiles) Thanks.

Linh:(seems to be about to explode)

Tam: Linh, I think you need to calm down. I think you're just angry because you liked Fitz, and that we can never see him again because Biana will maul him if we ever see him again. Come on, let's go.

(everybody gets up to leave)

Linh: (seems to reach boiling point, but calms down.) Well, you're welcome to leave. If you can make it past Lucy.

Dex: (confused) Lucy?

Linh: (Whistles)

(The gorgodon comes running out of its cage, with a giant nametag on its collar reading "Lucy")

(Everybody runs back to their seats)

Linh: Now that I have your undying loyalty, I'm going to get someone to help who can actually do this job.

Keefe: (realization covers his face) No! You can't mean him!

Dex: You're insane!

Linh: Quite the opposite. I think I've had a stroke of genius.

Sophie: Linh, what are you doing?

Dex: This isn't you!

Biana: Looks like we have some rebels in our group! Now, normally I would send you to a reeducation center, but I see what's happening here. I simply can't allow any sophex on the premises. even platonic. You see, the only thing I hate more than Fitz, is, in my opinion, bad ships. Luckily, I have just the solution for it.

Sophie: Linh, what do you mean-

Biana: Oh, please do be patient. You'll see in a moment. Lucy!

(Lucy runs and swallows up Sophie and Dex)

Everyone else: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Linh: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

**Meanwhile, a short while earlier:**

Jensi: Sweet Home Alabama!

Fitz: Where the skies are so blue!

GT: Sweet Home Alabama!

Me: Lord, I'm coming home to you!

Fitz: (turns off radio)I gotta say, human radio isn't half bad!

Jensi: Way better than elven music!

GT: What does elven music sound like?

Fitz: You don't want to know.

Me: So! Our first part of our quest-

Jensi: Wait, it's a quest now?

Fitz: I'm pretty sure it would be defined as a buddy movie disguised as a quest.

Me: QUIET! As I was saying, our first stop on our quest is to get a map-

Fitz: There's a map?

GT: Of course there's a map. There's always a map in these things. Plus romance.

Fitz: I don't mind the last part. (wiggles eyebrows at imaginary girls)

(everybody stares at him)

Fitz: Sorry, I forgot why we were on the run.

Me: Anyways, we have to convince a mercenary to give us the map. We'll have to go the bar that they arm-wrestle at, and negotiate with them.

GT: And let me guess, the bar will be full of angry bikers who we will inevitably aggravate.

Me: (stares at him) Are you psychic?

GT: No, I've just watched a lot of buddy-comedy movies.

Me: Fair enough. Look, there it is!

GT:(eyes widen) Well, this was unexpected.

* * *

Okay, sorry it was short. I wanted to get it out. Cliffhangers! This is my first one on this story. Aww, it's a baby cliffhanger. Isn't that cute?

Fans: (try to kill it)

Me: You really shouldn't have messed with the baby.

Baby Cliffhanger(I'm calling him "Cliffy" now): (cries)

Fans: (cover ears) The pain! That noise is too horrible! (runs away)

Me: Did I just create myself a new OC? Great. Well, this can't be worse than GT-

Cliffy: Goo-goo-ga-ga(Foolish mortal! I come from the deepest depths of the underworld! Bow down before me!) (breathes fire)

Me: Aww, look! 3rd degree burns! You are so cute. Let's make GT change your diaper. (Picks baby up and feeds it mallowmelt)

Cliffy:Goo-goo! Babababababa! (How dare you pick up the all-mighty destroyer of fandoms, the torturer of authors! I gave J. K. Rowling writers block for 19 years! I- Oh, wow. This is so good. BRING ME MORE SO I MAY USE ITS AWESOME POWER TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MORE NOM-NOMS!)

Me:Well, my infinite mallowmelt generator came in handy for once! I wonder how it works...


	3. Chapter 3

WE HAD A DROP IN COMMENTS! WHHHYYYYY!

As you can tell, I'm positively bursting with sunshine and rainbows right now.

Now, comments!

**Mythicalis4real: ****Yeah, mallowmelt is powerful. Hmm... "Judge Linh". That would be a good fic idea! I CLAIM IT! IT IS MINE! **

**ArrowOfTheMoonlark: Here's a saying that I made up that applies to this situation: "When people in my family tell me I'm a genius, I take it not-so-seriously. When people I know tell me I'm a genius, I take it seriously. When a stranger online tells me I'm a genius, I know I'm being stalked."**

Anyways, COMMENT!

Thank you.

I had writers block coming up with this, sorry it took so long.

INFREQUENT UPDATING!

Okay, I'm just saying random things now.

Now, on with the story!

* * *

Me: There it is! The county limits! (We see a sign that says "Roadkill County")

GT: Well, that's reassuring.

Fitz: What's roadkill?

Me: Ummm... Look, a bird!

Jensi: Seriously, what is-

Me: Jensi, concentrate on driving! We're almost at the city limits.

GT: Which town is the bar in anyways?

Me: (dramatically) It's a town you might have heard of, GT. Gravity Falls, Oregon!

Everybody:(stares at me blankly)

Fitz: Where?

GT: I have no idea where that is.

Jensi: We were talking?

Me: (sighs) Fine. Just drive.

**One hour later:**

GT: (Reads sign)"Skull Fracture". Weird name for a bar.

Me: It's more of a club. Jensi, do you have the fake ID's ready?

Jensi: Got them right here!

Fitz: You literally took some plastic and wrote on it.

GT: We're dead.

(We see a giant guard, with a lot of tattoos.)

Guard: Sorry, we don't accept any minors.

Miner: Aw, dangit!

Jensi: Here you go!

Guard: (Inspects ID's) Hmm... Adulty McAdultFace?

Me: That's me.

Guard: Jeepers McBubblyCider?

Jensi: Me!

Guard: Jee Tee?

GT: Sadly, me.

Guard: Fitzypoo McChandelier-Smacker the third?

Fitz: Me.

Guard: Well, come on in!

**In Skull Fracture:**

Me: Okay, guys. The po-po is on my tail-

GT: Why?

Me: I may have partially based this adventure on one of my favorite episodes in a tv show.

GT: Seriously?

Me: Anyways, Jensi, you go talk with that biker dude over by the bar. He has the map. Fitz and GT, I want you guys to go challenge Manly Dan in the manlinest contest over there(points to a red-headed huge lumberjack over by an arm-wrestling machine.)

GT: Why would we do that?

Me: Originality reasons.

Fitz: That doesn't even make any sense.

Me: Let's go!

**By the bar:**

Jensi: Hi friend!

Bats Biker: (growls)

Jensi: I heard you have a map!

Bats Biker: Maybe I do. But why would I give it to you?

Jensi: (whispers) Well, I'm secretly an elf!

Bats Biker: Yeah, right. I'm going to need proof.

Jensi: Umm, well, I haven't manifested yet, so...

**By the arm-wrestling machine:**

GT: Hello Manly Dan! We seek a challenge of manliness!

Manly Dan: ARM-WRESTLING!

GT: I can do that.

Fitz: Let me do it!

Manly Dan: Little girl, you could not possibly arm-wrestle me! A mere child of 8 could not win! With those noodle-arms, you must have a hard time even lifting things!

Fitz: Yeah, Biana usually has to help me- Wait a minute! Hey! I'm not 8! Or a girl!

GT: You're wearing a pink dress.

Fitz: It's maroon! And they're foxfire robes!

Manly Dan: I see. Well, I'm truly sorry. Being a girl would be the only physical advantage you would have, being able to beat up most boys your age. Now, you're defenseless.

Fitz: What do you mean?

GT: How many fights between you and your sister have you won?

Fitz: (mumbles) None.

Manly Dan: Enough talking. TIME TO ARM-WRESTLE!

GT:(rolls up sleeves) Bring it on.

**By the bar: **

Jensi: (Has a paper fortune teller in his hands) 1, 4, 6, 9. You will breath in 2 seconds!

Bats Biker: Well, I'm convinced! Thank you for your fortune telling magic, weird leprechaun!

Jensi: I'm an elf.

Bats Biker: Same thing. Here's the map!

Jensi: Yes! I bet we're doing way better than GT and Fitz!

Me: I've been here, silently observing.

**By the arm-wrestling machine:**

Assorted Bikers: GT! GT! GT! GT!

GT: What do you think, triple flip or quadruple? You know what, let's do a QUINTUPLE FLIP!

Assorted Bikers: YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

GT:(flips Manly Dan five times in the air using only his pinky.)

Me: Come on guys, we got the map! Jensi, let's go.

Jensi: One more fortune. 2, 3, 5, 7. Your wife will be beautiful!

Bats Biker: Yes!

Jensi: Okay, got to go!

Bats Biker: Wait! But will she love me?

**Back on the road: **

Me: Well, I'll probably get sued for writing these events down. It says on the map that we need to pass through... No, I can't believe it! I'm freaking out!

Fitz: Gimme that! (grabs map) It says we're going to a place called... Las Vegas?

GT: Vegas! Yes!

Jensi: What?

Me: It's where people go to make dumb decisions.

Jensi: I see.

**Somewhere in the pacific northwest:**

(We see the outline of a man. He picks up the phone, and listens, nodding. Then he hangs up.)

Mysterious Figure: Well, looks like we've got a mission for you, Agents G, S, and B. Your targets are Fitzroy Avery Vacker, Jensi Babblos, a weird wombat-thing, and the Author. Will you represent K. A. B. A. F. S. with honor?

(Grady, Sandor, and Bo step into the light)

Grady: I think one more cameo is doable. Move out!

* * *

Viva a Las Vegas! That's all I'm going to say.


	4. Chapter 4

I HAVE RETURNED!

Quarantine has killed me inside. SO MUCH BOREDOM!

But these are fun to write! (wanderling takes a good amount of effort while this is just pure silliness.)

Comments!

**Cary Swirls: Yes! For some reason they perpetually have the TV on to cartoon network in all the hotels I've been to, so I just watch it. It is pretty hilarious, and sometimes I get inspiration from it.(Whenever I need inspiration for Tam, I just look at a picture of Ice bear. They'd get along. HEY, I SHOULD WRITE THAT!)**

**ArrowOfTheMoonlark: The first line of your comment was just one "hey" extra from becoming a simpsons reference. (Breaks into tears)**

**The mysterious figure is a mysterious figure. Either that or Toffee.**

**(sighs) One of my pet peeves is when people ask me about that. IT WAS IN THE POLL! AND ON MY PROFILE! It's fine. It stands for Keep All Boys Away From Sophie.**

**A very obsessed fangirl: As soon as I read your comment, the song "Everything is awesome" got stuck in my head. I'm glad you found it funny!**

Oh, by the way, I might have a weensy case of writers block and I wrote this just before the worst of it kicked in. (I can still write this with minor writers block, because again, pure silliness.)

So there is the possibility of no updates for a while(maybe)

Now, on with the story!

* * *

Me: Vegas? Wait a second guys, I don't think any of us are old enough to go to vegas.

GT: We're too innocent!

Fitz: I've heard of it.

Jensi: Actually, guys-

Fitz:BURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP

GT: What was that? Something dying?

Me: Fitz! I didn't know you were a practitioner of the burping arts!

Fitz: Indeed I am. I was trained by the great Fallon-human-name Vack-human!

Me: The seemingly immortal legendary burper! Who's true identity was never revealed. I wonder who he was...

Fitz: The very same.

Me: You don't know who you're talking to! Have you ever heard of... The supersonic burpman?

Fitz: Of course! The greatest burper of all time! He single-handedly beat the entire mega-burpian army using only one mighty burp!

Me: Well... You're looking at him! (Puts on mask)

Fitz: I challenge you to a duel! My honor is at stake!

Me: Ha! I laugh at your puny challenge! I accept, so I can beat you mercilessly!

Jensi: Guys, I-

Fitz: Not now, Jeepers-

Jensi: My name's Jensi.

Fitz: Listen, person I've never met before, this is important! So be quiet.

Jensi: (sighs) Why am I so forgettable?

Fitz: (inhales)

Me: (inhales)

Grady: Stop! In the name of mallowmelt!

Me: Shoot. Fitz, it looks like your sister hired the agents of-

Sandor: We need Fitz Vacker! Give us him and we'll leave you alone!

GT: We'll never give up Fitz! Right guys?

Me: Err- actually... maybe we should consider our options? I mean, Fitz is a huge jerk.

Jensi: He forgot I existed!

Fitz: Guys, you're not going to let them get me, right? Also, I like the new seat we got. (sits on Jensi)

Jensi: I AM A PERSON!

Me: Okay, give him up.

GT: Guys, listen. Fitz may be a total and complete (the rest of this sentence had been removed by the censor)

Fitz: Hey!

GT: And he may completely deserve this,

Fitz: Hey!

GT: And he may be extremely weak and lost a fight against a dust mite once,

Fitz: HEY!

GT: But he's our friend, and friends don't let friends get tortured! Now, because this is styled after a buddy movie, let's all team up, get over our differences, and beat the bad guys! Happily ever after! So, let's do this!

Me: Ummmm... About that. Jensi, now!

Jensi: (gleefully) Oops! (picks up Fitz and yeets him to the agents)

Fitz: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Sandor: (catches Fitz) Grady, bring me a diaper. It looks like this weirdo peed his pants.

GT: (stares incredulously at Fitz) What?

Fitz: I have a problem, okay?

Sandor: Here you go (puts Fitz in diaper). Now, here comes the airplane!

Fitz: Get me out of this diaper! I'm not a baby! Hey- Oh, wow, this is really good. (sucks his thumb and falls asleep)

Jensi: This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

Bo: Goodbye!

GT: Give us Fitz back!

Jensi: Or don't!

Bo: Sorry, but orders are orders.

Me: Orders from who?

Bo: That's classified.

GT: Well, we need to rescue him.

Me: GT, you don't understand! The quest is over! And even if we continued, it would be off the map- oh no. Curse my own writing!

Jensi: What is it?

Me:Well, it looks like the quest is still on. You see, the holding area for the agents of K. A. B. A. F. S. is in Caesars palace, in the Colosseum.

GT: Isn't that in rome? (starts to sing) When in rome-

Jensi: This is the reason I carry a trombone. (blasts GT in the face with a high C)

Me: I'm talking about the other one, which is the most well known concert hall in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Jensi: (on a trombone) Dun, Dun, duuuuuuuunnnnnn!

(everybody stares at him)

Jensi: (shrugs) It seemed appropriate.

* * *

Note: In case you were wondering how I write these, the trick is to drink 50 liters of mabel juice(gravity falls reference), eat a pound of mallowmelt, and then listen to 80's music for hours while I write this.

Also I've been watching copious amounts of Star Vs. The Forces of Evil for "research". So expect even more obscure references!

VOTE IN THE MUSIC POLL ON MY PROFILE PAGE! For some reason you can't get writers block for writing songs, so that gives me something to do in the meanwhile.


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